Sheepless Nights

It was another one of those long nights and my insomnia was getting the better of me. The flashing lights of the alarm clock on the desk did nothing for me. It was getting difficult to take my eyes off of them. I was slowly being drawn into their rhythmic call. Madness beckoned! Intervention came in the form of a strategically placed pillow that blocked out the red glow of insanity. It still did not solve my primary problem though. I was completely awake and aware of the fact that sunrise and another depressing summer day were only a couple of hours away. I had to get some sleep if I was to stay awake in class. I decided to give the sheep-counting business a try. And why not? I'd already tried everything else short of prescription drugs. Here is how that went.

So I close my eyes,
For the task at hand.
This fool proof method,
Involving farmland.

I clear my mind
And fill it with,
A land so green
It felt like a myth.

The sheep they came
All cuddly and white,
Toward the fence
Stretched in-finite.

One glance across
And they all agreed;
The grass over there
Was much greener indeed.

The pioneer was across
In one giant leap
And was soon followed
By the rest of the sheep.

I counted one and two
And three and four
And five and six
And many many more

The going was good
Until the folks
Of New Sheepland
Felt they had enough blokes.

You see, times were hard
And jobs were a-few.
So they put a stop
To immigrants new.

But the good citizens
Of the West Country,
Felt they were wronged
So damn out rightly.

Thus began
The coldest of wars,
Even though both sides
Knew 'twas a farce.

And before you knew it
Someone stepped on a twig
And that’s all that was needed
To launch the first brig.

Battle plans were made
And big guns were drawn;
These crazy sheep
Were no brains and all brawn.

Soon my dreamland
Lost all of its green;
In ruins and smoke
It lay so obscene...

So, once again, my runaway mind has brought about yet another failed attempt at blissful sleep. The sun’s first rays are already lighting up the night sky. I reach out and hit the snooze button before the inevitable cacophony that is my morning alarm, goes off. I hate having to spend another day in class just struggling to stay awake. Damn sheep!

Tomorrow I count kittens!!

Silent Lucidity

The sound of the waves kissing the surf lulled me deeper into the slumber I was in. I heard their voices calling me from afar. But it didn’t make any sense. They weren’t supposed to be here. I wasn’t supposed to be here. And where was 'here' anyway?

"Don’t waste a good day doing what you do best tubby!” said Josh. "Dozing," he added fearing I might not have caught his drift as I stared at him vacantly. He didn’t look very different from the last time I saw him. Which would be about eight years back when we attended university together.

"I know you're getting old. But six in the evening is hardly bedtime," chimed in Nikki. She was walking up to us across the sand. The sand. It had an almost otherworldly quality about it. Texture like silk and white grains so fine they were difficult to get a grip on. I gazed out across the water. The sky was ablaze with the myriad rays of the setting sun. Shades of red, orange, purple and grey filled the evening sky. The whole scene was surreal. The water extended to the horizon where it blended into the fiery sky. There was a gentle sea breeze which whistled through the flora behind us.

"Snap out of it dude!" said Josh as he punched me on my shoulder. "You don’t want to be late for your big shindig tonight."

"Uh-huh. What shindig? How big? And what are you guys even doing here?"

Oh c'mon did you hit the liquor without me?", asked Josh "I know it's your night and all that, but that’s still a cruel thing to do to a good friend."

I chuckled nervously as doubts about my own sanity crept into my head. I turned to Nikki for salvation. But she was ignoring us both, lost in the sunset. I went and sat next to her in the sand as Josh set his tall frame down on a rock beside us.

"Crazy day, eh?” I ventured,  hoping to shed some light on this whole situation. She just nodded and rested her head on my shoulder. There was something magical about the way the dying rays of the sun reflected off her eyes. She'd always been the one who was there for me. That one friend you know who'll come through whatever the odds. I found myself stretching to catch a peek of her hand. No ring. That had to be a good thing. Weird though. She was the very definition of a prize catch. I was snapped out of my reverie by Josh. He was saying something about something that happened sometime today. Apparently we'd gone offroading and he was impressed with my big SUV. I just grunted nonchalantly. I had so many questions.

"So how big exactly is this shindig that you speak of?"

"Did you fall and hit your head on a rock or something? You're acting all strange man. It’s your 30th birthday. Big event. Small guest list. Just the three of us. But we're gonna tear it up!" he shouted enthusiastically. "In fact, I’m going to go over to the beach house and get the grill started up. You two get yourselves there ASAP." He dusted the sand off his shorts and made his way to the house.

The two of us sat in silence as the sun went under and the last of its light held on desperately to the darkening sky. In the twilight glow I saw that Nikki had her eyes closed and was swaying her head to the beat of the waves which had gotten louder by this time. Me, I was lost in my own maze. I was 30? Where did the last few years of my life go? I seemed to be doing ok for myself. The house on the beach, the big car and what I could only assume was a dream job. And while I still didn’t have the washboard abs I’d always wanted, I wasn’t morbidly obese anymore. Those rippling muscles were for over-compensating masochists anyway. Love handles never killed anybody. But back to the problem at hand. How could I have forgotten these past years?

The sky was black now. The stars weren't out tonight. A storm seemed to be building in the distance and the waves were getting louder. The wind picked up suddenly and howled almost mournfully across the sand.

"I think we should go in now.” I ventured "Guess we'll have to strike off barbeque off the menu tonight". I should be happy tonight I thought. After all a guy turns 30 but once in his life.

"Let's get our feet wet before we head back", said Nikki.

"Ummm... I really think we should get back", I said impatiently. Quite pointlessly I realize as she'd already started walking to the water. The waves were really crashing onto the shore now and the storm was almost upon us. The first of the raindrops stung my face as I looked skywards. "Wait up!” I screamed over the thunder and wind. She turned and looked up at me bemused. "How does this end? For us? Why are you here? I really need to know". The thunder rolled on. She smiled and then for the briefest of instants everything seemed to come to a standstill. For that moment it was all clear. But it was over before I could savour it. The thunder was back and the lightning seemed to be tearing the sky asunder. She opened her mouth to speak but her words were drowned in the rhythmic crashing of the waves. Those darned waves. I ran towards her. But before I reached the whole sky opened up in a white hot flash. And the waves got even more persistent in their rhythmic destruction. She was gone.

THUD-THUD!!

I opened my eyes. I was back in my room. Someone was at the door. They were really trying to tear it down. I walked across and opened the door.

"It's the second. You better have the rent today." screamed my landlady.

I gave her my best frown before I shut the door and made my way to the bathroom. But I was happy because for the first time in my life I had hope. I was looking forward to my 30th birthday. The future looked bright. Time to face life again!

Flying for Dummies

"There’s nothing to flying a plane. You pull the stick thingy to go up and you push it forward to go down. Piece of cake. These pilots are nothing but a bunch of glorified bus drivers I tell you"

These were the words of a passenger seated next to me who was obviously well travelled and knowledgeable about everything under the sky. These were also - thankfully - the last words in a long tirade which included gas prices, the Middle East peace process and airline food. All in a drunken stupor courtesy of the free flowing airline red wine. Of course the red wine was put to shame by the shades of red his face developed when I told him that I was a licensed pilot myself. If nothing else it got him to shut up while I caught up on movies that I couldn’t bother spending money on in the theatres. I spaced out in a bit while listening to Natalie Portman extolling the virtues of a pure physical relationship to Aston Kutcher. I got to thinking about how people tend to totally misunderstand flying as a profession. The age old images of flying come to mind - the pilot having an easy job, getting paid by the sack load and generally having nothing better to do than walk around airport terminals with a shapely stewardess on each arm. Allow me to clarify then.

Despite all the funny jokes, Flying is a profession to be taken seriously. Things can go from ho-hum to awww-crap-F%$#-s*^&-OMG in about three seconds or less. Which is why pilots spend a great deal of time and effort (and money!) to achieve proficiency at what they do. If pilot examinations are an indication, pilots today are a heady mix of aviator, navigator, engineer, cartographer, meteorologist, psychologist, regulator, physicist, radio operator and much more with some leadership and people management skills thrown in for good measure! And they can’t just sit on their behinds once initial licensing is complete. Life as a commercial pilot has a steady supply of examinations, check rides, sim evaluations and medicals. All this in addition to everyday life problems associated with working odd hours, being away from home for extended periods and medical layoffs not to mention the general havoc wreaked upon the circadian rhythms.

Flying isn’t just takeoff-autopilot-land. That is just the tip of the cumulonimbus (a little aviation humour there... he he... no? Sigh...). There is a great deal of work involved in each flight. Pilots are human beings too. Not miracle workers. So don’t take out your anger on them the next time your flight gets delayed or you're woken from your slumber because of a little turbulence. Show some appreciation and smile at the flight crew when exiting the aircraft instead of grunting like a Neanderthal. Not too much to ask for, is it? They did get you halfway across the world in one piece.

Present Tense, Past Perfect - Love 101

Women are the root of all evil. Women and money my friend. I’d recalled this line from some movie I’d seen. My 5 year old brain did not see the sense in that when there were a whole host of other problems to worry about like baths and hospital folk with needles. That is until that fateful day when I was left for dead by the girl of my dreams. Actually I don’t really remember my dreams from back then but I can safely assume that she starred in most of them. In fact I don’t really remember anything about her. Let’s just call her Jia for now. 

Jia was the queen of the playground. She looked a stunner in her uniform and tiny matching plastic accessories. Yes, the same grey uniform that made the rest of us look like rejects from a Nazi movie production set. And she had the cutest little ponytail to top it all off. Real cover girl material this.  I had eyes only for her. Well her and that killer rocking horse next to the slides. Not that it really mattered. I had no luck with her (or with that damn horse for that matter!). In fact I'm confident that she wasn’t aware of my existence.

But in that little utopia that was my head, we were the best of friends, the worst enemies and everything else in between. And I was always the perfect gentleman. Letting her have my place in the line for the slides, taking my finger out of my nose when she looked and... well there isn’t much a guy can do for a girl in kindergarten. But it was frustrating not to get any attention from said girl. You hear all that talk about being blinded by love and I was slowly starting to realize the validity of the statement.

Take for instance this one time. It was a hot Saudi summer afternoon. The bell had just gone off and we were shuffling off to our buses to get back home. Jia lived two streets down from my house. This worked out perfectly for me since I got to share a bus ride with her every day. Only today wasn’t like every other day. my parents had moved house over the weekend and in spite of Amma's repeated reminders about switching buses (accompanied by the constant rolling of my eyes at her) I happily followed Jia into her bus with a head full of daydreams and not a clue as to the size of the drama that was about to unfold. The bus ride was pretty standard with me uttering monosyllables and her just nervously playing with her ponytail. I was kind of bummed out when the bus pulled over at my regular stop. She almost seemed relieved (though I’m sure that was just the sun playing tricks with my eyes). I hopped off and walked around the corner. One look at my old building and the daydreams were replaced by a cold sinking fear. I stepped into the building and knocked on the door knowing full well that Amma wouldn’t be there to open the door for me. But a small part of me kept praying that she'd lost her way back from work too. Five minutes later and all hope had vanished. Obviously no one answered the door. So I did what any resourceful 5 year old would do in my place - I cried... and how! Mustering up all possible energy I screamed at the top of my very asthmatic lungs. Soon I’d woken up all the housewives in the building from their afternoon naps. In spite of being on the receiving end of some very angry glares, I was glad because in the crowd were a few familiar faces. Soon I was inside a cool kitchen drinking Sunkist while phone calls were made by responsible adults. And before I knew it I was in my car riding back home and reciting tall tales of my bravery and dishing out advice on how important it was to keep a cool head like I did through tough situations.

Needless to say Jia ceased to become a primary concern for me and I never ever ever mixed up buses again - well, until we shifted houses again anyway. I wonder where she is today and whether she has an inkling about the trauma she caused her boyfriend/stalker in kindergarten.

Poetry in Motion

If this video doesn't move you, I don't want to talk to you again... Ever!!