Silent Lucidity

The sound of the waves kissing the surf lulled me deeper into the slumber I was in. I heard their voices calling me from afar. But it didn’t make any sense. They weren’t supposed to be here. I wasn’t supposed to be here. And where was 'here' anyway?

"Don’t waste a good day doing what you do best tubby!” said Josh. "Dozing," he added fearing I might not have caught his drift as I stared at him vacantly. He didn’t look very different from the last time I saw him. Which would be about eight years back when we attended university together.

"I know you're getting old. But six in the evening is hardly bedtime," chimed in Nikki. She was walking up to us across the sand. The sand. It had an almost otherworldly quality about it. Texture like silk and white grains so fine they were difficult to get a grip on. I gazed out across the water. The sky was ablaze with the myriad rays of the setting sun. Shades of red, orange, purple and grey filled the evening sky. The whole scene was surreal. The water extended to the horizon where it blended into the fiery sky. There was a gentle sea breeze which whistled through the flora behind us.

"Snap out of it dude!" said Josh as he punched me on my shoulder. "You don’t want to be late for your big shindig tonight."

"Uh-huh. What shindig? How big? And what are you guys even doing here?"

Oh c'mon did you hit the liquor without me?", asked Josh "I know it's your night and all that, but that’s still a cruel thing to do to a good friend."

I chuckled nervously as doubts about my own sanity crept into my head. I turned to Nikki for salvation. But she was ignoring us both, lost in the sunset. I went and sat next to her in the sand as Josh set his tall frame down on a rock beside us.

"Crazy day, eh?” I ventured,  hoping to shed some light on this whole situation. She just nodded and rested her head on my shoulder. There was something magical about the way the dying rays of the sun reflected off her eyes. She'd always been the one who was there for me. That one friend you know who'll come through whatever the odds. I found myself stretching to catch a peek of her hand. No ring. That had to be a good thing. Weird though. She was the very definition of a prize catch. I was snapped out of my reverie by Josh. He was saying something about something that happened sometime today. Apparently we'd gone offroading and he was impressed with my big SUV. I just grunted nonchalantly. I had so many questions.

"So how big exactly is this shindig that you speak of?"

"Did you fall and hit your head on a rock or something? You're acting all strange man. It’s your 30th birthday. Big event. Small guest list. Just the three of us. But we're gonna tear it up!" he shouted enthusiastically. "In fact, I’m going to go over to the beach house and get the grill started up. You two get yourselves there ASAP." He dusted the sand off his shorts and made his way to the house.

The two of us sat in silence as the sun went under and the last of its light held on desperately to the darkening sky. In the twilight glow I saw that Nikki had her eyes closed and was swaying her head to the beat of the waves which had gotten louder by this time. Me, I was lost in my own maze. I was 30? Where did the last few years of my life go? I seemed to be doing ok for myself. The house on the beach, the big car and what I could only assume was a dream job. And while I still didn’t have the washboard abs I’d always wanted, I wasn’t morbidly obese anymore. Those rippling muscles were for over-compensating masochists anyway. Love handles never killed anybody. But back to the problem at hand. How could I have forgotten these past years?

The sky was black now. The stars weren't out tonight. A storm seemed to be building in the distance and the waves were getting louder. The wind picked up suddenly and howled almost mournfully across the sand.

"I think we should go in now.” I ventured "Guess we'll have to strike off barbeque off the menu tonight". I should be happy tonight I thought. After all a guy turns 30 but once in his life.

"Let's get our feet wet before we head back", said Nikki.

"Ummm... I really think we should get back", I said impatiently. Quite pointlessly I realize as she'd already started walking to the water. The waves were really crashing onto the shore now and the storm was almost upon us. The first of the raindrops stung my face as I looked skywards. "Wait up!” I screamed over the thunder and wind. She turned and looked up at me bemused. "How does this end? For us? Why are you here? I really need to know". The thunder rolled on. She smiled and then for the briefest of instants everything seemed to come to a standstill. For that moment it was all clear. But it was over before I could savour it. The thunder was back and the lightning seemed to be tearing the sky asunder. She opened her mouth to speak but her words were drowned in the rhythmic crashing of the waves. Those darned waves. I ran towards her. But before I reached the whole sky opened up in a white hot flash. And the waves got even more persistent in their rhythmic destruction. She was gone.

THUD-THUD!!

I opened my eyes. I was back in my room. Someone was at the door. They were really trying to tear it down. I walked across and opened the door.

"It's the second. You better have the rent today." screamed my landlady.

I gave her my best frown before I shut the door and made my way to the bathroom. But I was happy because for the first time in my life I had hope. I was looking forward to my 30th birthday. The future looked bright. Time to face life again!